Just had a midwife appointment and met with our doula last night. We decided to hire Ruth Brae (our birth class instructor, mother of four and the most excited person I have ever met regarding labor and delivery) as our doula.
Ruth suggested nipple stimulation and intimacy to get this kid ready to slip on out. It is strange to be so clinical about both of those acts but here we are. I used the breast pump this morning for 15 minutes and had five contractions. She told me I had done good work. Yeah.
My stats? 90% effaced, one cm dilated, -1 station. So at least things are happening. The hardest part for me is not knowing when this is all going down. I want more control. I want a timeline. I want a list of tasks to complete that will result in a kid. I am used to training and preparing for things like marathons and grant deadlines. In such activities if one stays focused and remains on schedule, one experiences success. There is a specific day of completion.
My non-controlling midwife said your birth will be yours and unlike anyone else's. That is beautiful and all but it doesn't help my need for something that is standardized. It is also alarming to me that I want a standardization...until recently I thought of myself as a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kinda girl. And I still am in most things. I think.
I am not asking for much...just a loose time frame. Like, why can't there be a sign such as the front, left incisor turns bright turquoise and then within 48 hours you will have a child?
Come on, evolution. Help a girl out.
6 comments:
Well, that is an interesting concept, but then wouldn't you be constantly checking your tooth? Waiting's hard.
What's "doula" mean? I know what her role is, but where's the word come from?
I would be nice if it was all that easy.......but then I gues the birth process would be called something different than "labor". Trust me when I say the end result is well worth it all!
Yours in waiting....xo Gram
I know you don't know me but I stumbled upon your blog from a friend's blog. Always looking for a good read by new parents since I have become one last August. I don't comment much but I felt compelled to comment here. I just wanted to say that Ruth as a doula is amazing! She attended the birth of our son (at the Birth Center) and I don't know what I would have done without her. She absolutely rocks and will always be a special part of our lives. I had a few moments during my 21 hours of labor that if I was in the hospital I would have been a c-section but Ruth knew exactly what to do to avoid that...she's just fabulous. So, awesome choice! Have a wonderful birth! Its amazing!
ok, i'm confused. if you really don't know when you're going to have a baby, then how come they can give you a "due date" ??? do you have a due date?
HI Nici,
It's barbara (sarah's mom)..and i can't believe she doesn't know about due dates!
Anyway, I read your blog today and you write so beautifully. I can't remember how long it's been since I've seen you, but you have obviously grown into a thoughtful, beautiful woman who will be a great mom to your bug!! I'm so excited and happy for you and Andy. Good luck! And we did natural births twice and looking back, it all seemed really easy:).
Jean, yes, checking the tooth but it would be a FOR SURE indicator. In labor, everything (as far as order goes) is abstract and varied.
Ma, it could still be laborious even if there were more of a plan. Yes, it will be worth it!
Junie, congrats on your bug. Thanks for coming by and giving Ruth the thumbs up. We feel lucky to work with her.
Sarah, It is more like a due month. They set the date 280 days/40 weeks/10 months after the first day of your last period. But gestation varies. You are considered "at term" at 37 weeks. And considered "post term" at 42 weeks. So, it is all a guessing game. You can have a bug anytime from 37 to 42 weeks!
Barbara! Great to hear from you. Glad to hear it all seems easy...when did that realization come? It seems moms turn a corner and remember the gloriousness and forget the goriness at some point. Hope you are well.
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