I said it. Can you jinx a delivery?
But I really do. I wake up in the night with strongish contractions that are uncomfortable. And they last for a minute or more. And I have quite a few.
I know I have no idea what I am talking about but I do know that bug wants fresh air. And that I want to eat a normal sized meal without feeling like I have a toy boat wedged between my rib cage and my sternum. And I know that I feel calmer this week. Less worried and anxious about work, money, changes. I feel ready I guess.
Which is funny because people like to ask Are you ready? Immediately after they ask Are you excited? I always feel a bit annoyed with the questions because how in the hell does one ready themselves for this? And of course I am excited but also a million other emotions I can't even wrap my mind around let alone articulate. It is like when store clerks ask Did you find everything you were looking for? Sometimes I answer honestly. No. I wish you carried Tom's toothpaste without fluoride and I had to search for at least ten minutes for the capers. Thank you for asking.They don't mean it and they shouldn't ask it. Is that too mean-spirited of me? Are they *just trying to be nice*? It is still annoying.
So, anyway, I feel ready and now I don't feel vexed when people ask me that question. I am ready to have strong, walk-inhibiting contractions. I think that will come first. My water won't break until a bit later. I am ready to hang out at home with Andy and my animals and wonder what comes next. I am ready to have our doula, Ruth, come over to our house and tell me I am doing great and although I feel like a pioneer in a blizzard with a broken wagon, that all is going beautifully and according to plan.
I am ready for Ruth to say It's time to go and we go. I am ready to get in the big, deep bathtub at the birth center because I know I will find it relaxing. I am ready for Andy to sit behind me on the big sleigh bed during the leg-shaking pain. And, I am ready to meet our bug. I think her name will be Margot.
So. Bring it on. I am ready. And I found everything I was looking for.
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
the other blog
bug stats
- 12/22/08: 18 lbs, 4 oz; 27.5 in; vaccinations
- 10/27/08: 17 lbs, 0 oz
- 08/29/08: 15 lbs, 8 oz; vaccinations
- 06/20/08: 13 lbs, 8 oz; 24 in; vaccinations
- 05/09/08: 11 lbs, 12 oz
- 04/24/08: 11 lbs, 6 oz; 23.25 in
- 04/14/08: 10 lbs, 13 oz; 23 in
- 03/24/08: 10 lbs, 0 oz
- 03/05/08: 9 lbs, 15 oz; vaccinations
- 02/22/08: 9 lbs, 8 oz; 22.5 in
- 02/12/08: 9 lbs, 5 oz
- 01/10/08: 8 lbs, 3 oz; 21.5 in
- 01/03/08: 7 lbs, 8 oz
- 12/26/07: 7 lbs, 2 oz
- 12/19/07: 6 lbs, 8 oz
- 12/18/07: 7 lbs, 0 oz; 21 in
12 comments:
SO well said! I love that my baby is having her baby....yes bring her on!
xo, Gram
OH Nici way to go, I'm sitting here at work in tears. You've done it again. I am overcome with so many emotions. My son is going to be a father and a great one I know. Nici will be a mom and they are both in for an unbelievable trip with Margot(maybe Margot). Today is the first day that I have realized that I DO have a strong desire to race to Missoula the minute I here "Its time". I won't but I will want to. Terri will help hold me back and I promise I will do the same to her. I told Andy I don't really have any desire to see the baby crown and that is still true. I will try to be patient, but come on......XOXO Joan
Well, I just reread my entry and I said how Andy will a great dad and I said Nici will be mom. Nici you will be more than just a mom. You are going to be an incredible mom. You are an incredible partner to Andy and incredible friend to me. XOXO J
Oh, my gosh, I'm speechless with anticipation. I dreamed last night you had the girl, Margot, I adore that name.
I remember feeling what you're feeling about questions. I remember dissolving into tears when one more person would say Haven't you had that child YET?
But on with life. A beautiful new life. This is going to be a very memorable December for our family. I love you. We will all be behind you in spirit.
I find I am getting nervous.
I am so glad that Grandma J has faith that I will hold her back. I think Grandpa Hans will have to lock us both in the basement and bar the windows! We are trying to follow your wishes.
I agree, Bug,(Margot?),could not ask for more outstanding parents...I am so proud to be your Mother!
xo, Mom
Well, family.
Crazy, Jean, that you dreamed we had a girl last night. You are the third person to tell me that today!
And, moms, you will be racing here when it is time for your arrival. Plenty of time for racing and no need for locking yourselves anywhere.
I love coming out of a staff meeting to have six new comments awaiting me.
love to you all.
Nobody said I couldn't come, right? See ya real soon!
I love reading your blogs. They are too funny and remind me of a time not that long ago when I was in shoes similar to yours! We wish you all of the best and will keep our fingers crossed for you guys :)
so lovely to spend time with you this morning. I've been missing you and thinking of you.
so wonderful.
i so remember that feeling of readiness! i am so excited for your adventure!
I wish every woman I love could have the experience you are about to have. Giving birth was one of single most amazing experiences of my life. It was powerful and hard and painful. It was an honor.
Post a Comment